Interim post

Hello blog, heres an interim post while I collate the millions of ace pictures I've taken. Its the ace band The Chamelions. From Rochdale, where co-ops were invented. They were one of the big inspirational bands for space rock as far as I know. I hope the link works - this is a well decent song.

A cheerful conversation with Artificial Intelligence

Described by Alan Turing in the 1950 paper "Computing Machinery and Intelligence," it proceeds as follows: a human judge engages in a natural language conversation with one human and one machine, each of which try to appear human; if the judge cannot reliably tell which is which, then the machine is said to pass the test.


Anyway. claims of running a car on 100% water that assumes you can get more energy out of burning the hydrogen and oxygen than you put in splitting it using electricity from the alternator. That would break laws of physics and thermodynamics that stop the sun from exploding or our stomachs catching fire after a hot cup of tea ;) The jury may still be out on Browns Gas. Hippies sat round campfires talking about the water powered car - are they human or machine intelligence?

Many thanks anyway to http://www.drivewithwaterfuel.com for a thoroughly enjoyable website. Go visit and ask some questions.

You: are you a real person? Jenny Says: My name is Jenny and I am not a real human. I am a virtual smart agent that has been trained to answer your important questions. Give it a try ... what's your question?

You: what is the special offer? Jenny Says: Through this chat only, I am allowed to give you a special offer for our product. Simply CLICK HERE to get started right away :-)

You: what is the product? Jenny Says: Sorry but I cannot find an answer to your question. Please rephrase your question.

You: is it better than LPG Jenny Says: Sorry but I cannot find an answer to your question. Please rephrase your question.

You: I am excited about the range of cheeses available outside the US Jenny Says: Yes, you can gain access to the product from anywhere in the world. We have a large number of satisfied customers from all over the world. CLICK HERE to get started right away.

You: I am frightened of volkswagen drivers. Why do they want to kill us all? Jenny Says: Yes, you can gain access to the product from anywhere in the world. We have a large number of satisfied customers from all over the world. CLICK HERE to get started right away.

You: do giant space ants faced with a washing machine take long to install it? Jenny Says: Our system is very simple to set up, with step by step instructions, you can get setup within no time at all following our manual.

You: I knew someone with ten squirrels he'd trained to set fire to buildings. is this legal? Jenny Says: This is absolutely not any type of scam in any way shape or form. Also, this is not a "get rich quick" scheme. Simply apply yourself as instructed and you will succeed.

:)

Beautiful valley near Hathersage

Time for an uplifting positive blog entry after the last two. These pictures are from the valley of Highlow Brook, next to Eyam Moor near Hathersage. Not everyone likes the moors, they are a bit bleak, I remember thinking they were ugly the first time too. Nowadays I like thier ancient atmosphere, the feeling of timeliness. And you get a lot of peace up there because only about 12 other people like them too! On to the valley, this is stunning, and is one of those places that makes me think if there is a heaven, it's green. I really really like pathways through hills and forests. These are some of the nicest I know of.

My new lovely tent

A fine piece of kit - this will protect us from storms and keep us happy when we go camping..

This years runner up award for bad customer service goes to certain representatives of the UK tent industry. We put the tent up on sunday as a test and one of the conventional fibreglass poles on the 'hoop section' split along its length.

I Rang the shop - a big place in Loughborough who had been really helpful when I bought the tent (which was a real contrast after being shouted at by an mad angry lady working in a camping shop on the edge of Leicester but thats another story) - the conversation went like this..

'hello, i need to return a split tent pole please'
'its really rare that this happens that a pole is snapped. normally its the customers fault'
'Er, well I don't think it's my fault, this was the first time we put the tent up and you know what nice calm weather we're having - and it didn't snap at all, just quietly split like a piece of bamboo'
'normally a pole snaps when it's forced because customers force things'
'well it wasnt, it was out of the box, and it wasnt snapped, it split gently. it delaminated. Fibreglass pultrusions do sometimes. Can I return it please?'
'well allright then, we will look at the pole' '
'great! i'll come tomorrow'
'you need to leave it with us for 5 days'
'cant you just look at it? it's only a tent pole'
'you need to leave it with us for 5 days'


time to call the manufacturer. kyham has 4 findable phone numbers but all are discontinued including the one on the guarantee card. directory enquiries gives a number that doesnt pick up. after two days, someone answered.

'yes you do need to go back to the shop'.
'what about 5 days to look at a tent pole?'
'we can't comment'.

So, I've bought a spare pole on ebay for 4 quid because thats cheaper than the diesel to make two round trips to the camping shop!

Luckily all the spares are there on ebay. I've since discovered that Blacks sell a split-proof fibreglass tent pole, and that ally tent poles ought to work as well. Those in the know upgrade to carbon fibre. Of course all of these modifications might void the warranty, but: 1. at the end of the day it's only a tent, and 2. whats the point of a warranty when the shop won't even cooperate and the company hides from its customers?

Camping shop of doom

Well, after looking all around, you always find something on your doorstep. I telephoned and spoke to a nice helpful man at a camping shop somewhere in Leicester about a Kyham Igloo tent. He said that none were on display but since they are so quick to erect, they regularly did demonstrations, and I could come and see one. Cool!

I turned up, walked around, looked at an empty space which must be where they put tenst up, and asked the lady on the reception about this. I was told to look at the tent I wanted on the internet. I politely pointed out that I'd done this and would like to see a real one.

"we don't just erect tents you know" (glare glare) "well, arent these ones supposed to take 30 seconds?"

The phone rings. This wasn't really a problem and I could see that the store was busy so I stand around, lookign at tents and camping stoves and suchlike.

After a few minutes she puts the phone down looking cross, and well stroppy. "everyone is busy, you'll have to wait" she snaps. "well, OK, but I was told I could see one by your colleague on the phone, that's why I'm here. I came specially" furious now she snaps "I can't just magic one out of thin air"

I announced that I would buy one in Loughborough, which is what I did. No wonder the place was apparently short staffed. They must have all been hiding from the bitch on the front desk.

Mr Snake

Allotment news, the snake family are back this year, they've built a nest in my compost heap and spend thier time being helpful - they eat insects that otherwise would munch through all my vegetables, and the rest of the time they spend being groovy . This is a photo of Mr Snake - he was a bit sleepy and stuck his head back in when I got the camera out.

My heads Attracted to a Magnetic Wave of Sound

Want to go out Dancing now as long as they play this Lets see if the embedding works again Cool!

Not a bad one of Tower Bridge and one of the crack in the floor at Tate Modern

Thought I'd share..more fascinating facts on these and will post our adventures in Frankfurt and Mannheim as soon as I've caught up on a little bit of oil painting and listening to records :)

Trans Europe Express - very nice

The ICE is the fastest thing I've travelled in on the surface of the earth, and is pretty scary until you get used to it. On the Koln-Frankfurt line only special trains can run since they need to be extra powerful because it is basically a giant rollercoaster - mine got up to 260 km/h according to the display, that's 160 mph for the Blank Generation, but then the display announced some other helpful stuff, so had to guess at the speed. The ICE routinely does 200 mph. (!) You could feel g forces as it went over the tops of hills and mountains. This is truly the space age machine that Kraftwerk were singing about. And if you can't get enough of it, theres even a full sized train set at the station to play with.

Gross Gerau, Germany

Phew! I thought my days of going on work trips abroad and staying in bunkhouses in bleak places with a load of people I'd never met before were over, and they are! Instead I got to stay in a Proper Hotel in a bleak place instead. But after a while the little town of Gross Gerau that this hotel is on the edge of grew on me. If you ever stay there and anyone tells you to go by S bahn to Gross Gerau Dornberg station (the S7), don't listen! it's a long long walk into the town! Gross Gerau station is much more central, only takes a bit longer (10 mins) by train. In Frankfurt just catch the S8 or S9 to Bischofstein and hop on anything going to Darmstadt - Gross Gerau is the second stop. Gross gerau-Frankfurt by this route costs the same as the long walk option via Dornberg. I was sorry not to have taken more pictures of the middle of the town, as is a nice little town.

This is one of the two bands that made me believe in music again

Absolutely thrilled to find the wonderful Asteroid Number Four on Youtube. This is pure psychadelic (shoegazing if you like) space rock of great beauty. And LOUD! They very kindly play the studio version on thier website: plus a load of other fine chunks of music. Of course the other band was the mighty Guided By Voices, who you already knew about

Fogonazos Sea Giants

A lovely website, made by I think, a Spanish person - some of the more interesting links on there are in Spanish. http://fogonazos.blogspot.com/2007/02/sea-giants_07.html Cool.

Anoying noing a noing noingy NoiNG NOING

I had a song called Romeo by Mr Big rattling round my mind when I was ill, in the way that the man from Touching The Void was driven slightly nuts by Boney M. It was playing on the radio when I drove back from London this week. I am the morning, you are the light You make the morning such a beautiful thing I am the green grass, you are the rain Fall on me, make me grow
Sounds harmless enough? DO NOT Youtube it! - it's the most creepy vocals you ever heard, and will make you feel as though you've just seen a ghost. A nasty ghost. Seriously Do Not Youtube This! I managed to get this horrible song out of my mind with a good solid week of the Rolling Stones.

Well the flute driven spaz out in the Sainsburys adverts was also giving me the creeps - it made me think of looking into a dark hole of insanity, of leaving the sun behind and entering a world where you have four walls and your imagination and it turns against you. A flute solo that lets you know what it feels liek to be sent to an Asylum. This truly is as creepy as a flute solo can get! I decided to track it down and face my fears. The whole song in context isn't as bad, it's a bit like some nutty early 70s musical like Jesus Christ Superstar. It's by a band called Polyphonic Spree - And then I noticed. See how they're all wearing gowns? Well that's what choirs do isn't it? Whats that on thier wrists? Hospital Tags. Something is rong - these peopel look like inmates The complete works of the Stranglers got the taste out of my ears. Strange how a band called 'Polyphonic Spree' is scary and nuts and a band called The Stranglers is comforting. I refer you to the lyric in my last post :) Actually it's not so annoying after a few listens. I hope I never listen to Mr Big again tho.